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The I-Don't-Think-They're-Ready-For-This-One

Date of procurement: Sometime in fall 2001

This mp3 is a disaster. A delightfully beautiful disaster.

Here are the basics: “You Rock My World” is one of Michael Jackson’s most underrated songs, a late-career mid-tempo jam from his final studio album. And like every other song released in the early-2000s, it got a remix. This particular remix comes with an intro from a Jadakiss and two verses from Jay-Z. Oh, and it features MJ mumbling, “I don’t think they’re ready for this one.” Nice.

But what seems like a surefire blockbuster collaboration is a total mess. This mp3 has it all: horrid sound quality; an abysmal mix that at 1:57 switches to the right-side speakers, then back to stereo, and then switches to the left-side speakers, then back again; random sound effects (notably a teakettle); and DJs talking at the end, evidence of a radio rip.

Whether or not this is an official version (or even an official remix) is impossible to tell. There’s almost no information about it online, other than a (much cleaner) YouTube version.

But with all that said, it’s a jam. And it just sounds like a 2001-era mp3. That alone makes it a must-own thing of beauty.                       

Unique features:      

• Classically terrible early-2000s sound quality.
• Appearances by Jadakiss and Jay-Z.
• Sloppy sound mixing.
• Dramatic teakettle sound effects.
• Philly DJs talking at the end, evidence of a radio rip.